It’s something we must do at the end of each episode. After we’ve settled down. Once we've become grounded once more. We must return to those with whom we've interacted. Perhaps they thought we were on drugs. Perhaps they thought you we were natural weirdos. Either way, the schizo rep carpet walk of shame must be done.

Maybe you were running up and down the street chasing your escaped dog that had not escaped. Perhaps you attempted to enter your neighbors' property because you saw them inviting you inside. It can get as weird as thinking your neighbors invited you to sample their herb garden.

Those sorts of behaviors can not simply be swept under the rug. You must swallow your dignity and roll out that red carpet. It helps to have someone with you. Some one to vouch for the fact that you're almost always sane.

Be warned, it doesn't always go over smoothly. I've known walks of shame involving people suggesting that the schizo shouldn't be allowed to live outside of the hospital. That's an extreme example, though. Either way...

Th schizo red carpet of shame sucks. There is no other way of getting around it.

It usually won't happen from a few days of hearing voices. It takes an episode in which all or most symptoms present extremely. Hallucinations of every sense. Word salad. Delusions so deep that you've lost so far out of touch with reality such that you've forgotten what reality even is.

The people in your life won't know what to do with you. They no longer recognize you. You frighten them in all likelihood. The only person more frightened than your loved ones is yourself. In breaks of this level, you're awake in a living nightmare.

It's not forever, fortunately. Not the episode, anyway. What does stick with you is the damage done. You'll never be the same again. You'll feel as though you're brain damaged. You'll lose skills you once were adept at. You'll feel a thick fog surrounding your head that slows you down at all you endeavor.

With enough determination you can regain 99% of who you were before. Others in your life may tell you that you've made a full recovery. You won't believe it. You know better. That psychotic break did a number on you. One from which you won't bounce back.

This is a common misconception among those who talk about schizo spectrum symptoms. When your body enters a state a catatonia, you are fully capable of moving in anyway that you otherwise would. You can still feel every part of your body. So, why then, aren't catatonic patients moving?

To use a gross oversimplification, they just don't feel like it. This is not to say they are being lazy. It is to say that they have been bombarded with so much, often bothersome, stimuli that they simply choose not to acknowledge shared reality any longer.

Is food ready? Bathroom time? Is potential danger approaching them? One could fill a page with reasons why a catatonic patient really should move. It doesn't matter. Reality has done a number on them the likes of which a normal person couldn't fathom. They are not acknowledging an existence outside of their mind. Taken to an extreme, a catatonic patient will mess themselves rather than acknowledge the shared reality that is the restroom.

It's not paralysis. It's not laziness. It's the decision to not acknowledge a reality that does nothing but dish out torment whenever outward interaction is attempted. It's understandable in a sense. If every attempt to engage in shared reality resulted in torment, you'd stop attempting as well.

Maybe you conjured up a bizarre belief that managed to spook your family enough to force professional help upon you. Maybe the fact that you were in the office of a psychiatrist drilled in how serious it all could be. With all of these factors weighing down, there is no way you could ever laugh as you opened up about these crazy thoughts of yours, right? Think again. It would be more bizarre if you managed to hold in the laughter. Why?

There is nothing about your newly formed delusion that erases a lifetime of knowing how stupid your belief sounds when spoken allowed. You will probably chuckle the first time you verbalize hearing voices for the same reasons. Prior to this moment, hearing voices was something out of psych thrillers. They aren't part of who you are. Not in this stage of your life. You've had no time to grow accustomed. It can take a good portion of a decade for your otherwise stable self to rattle off psychobabble as though it were small talk.

It's a form of double bookkeeping. You know it sounds funny and yet you know you believe every bit of it. All schizos have gone through the process of gradually being able to verbalize psychosis with a straight face. The process can be beyond frustrating. Confusing at best. You could guess the reason for why this is.

You can feel that your family or perhaps even a poorly trained professional will suspect malingering. Truly sad. Beyond sad. Disbelieved due to not having the proper poker face.

What's more sad? You learn your poker face as your condition worsens due to being under treated. This is the true prodromal phase.

This is a common issue as it relates to communicating to both doctors and family care givers. A patient will have a past experience(s) in which they presented with every schizophrenic symptom to a severe degree. The patient rightfully rates this a 10 on the "psychotic scale" if you will. The problem arises when the patient understandably compares their moderate episodes to the level 10 episodes.
This is a common issue as it relates to communicating to both doctors and family care givers. A patient will have a past experience(s) in which they presented with every schizophrenic symptom to a severe degree. The patient rightfully rates this a 10 on the "psychotic scale" if you will. The problem arises when the patient understandably compares their moderate episodes to the level 10 episodes.

Consider that the patient heard demonic voices through air vents for a number of hours which caused them to have to turn off their central air. There are those that might rate that a 10 on the psychotic scale. However, it was no comparison to the severe presentations that were rated a 10. This inevitably results in the patient rating the air vent demons a 3 or a 4. It wouldn't be surprising if the psychotic patient didn't think it was an event worth mentioning. It gets graded on a curve.

This creates a problem. Professionals and loved ones may, perhaps understandably, think that the patient's health is improving or was never bad to begin with. In reality, the perpetually suffering patient is simply grateful that they aren't presenting with level 10 episodes. There is but one solution.

We as psychotic people need to verbalize our very torturous symptoms even though we were happy to not have a month long episode. Every crazy symptom counts. It needs to be known to all those who effect our lives. Particularly to those who provide much needed assistance to our disabled existence.
This creates a problem. Professionals and loved ones may, perhaps understandably, think that the patient's health is improving or was never bad to begin with. In reality, the perpetually suffering patient is simply grateful that they aren't presenting with level 10 episodes. There is but one solution.
We as psychotic people need to verbalize our very torturous symptoms even though we were happy to not have a month-long episode. Every crazy symptom counts. It needs to be known to all those who effect our lives. Particularly to those who provide much needed assistance to our disabled existence.This is a common issue as it relates to communicating to both doctors and family care givers. A patient will have a past experience(s) in which they presented with every schizophrenic symptom to a severe degree. The patient rightfully rates this a 10 on the "psychotic scale" if you will. The problem arises when the patient understandably compares their moderate episodes to the level 10 episodes.
Consider that the patient heard demonic voices through air vents for a number of hours which caused them to have to turn off their central air. There are those that might rate that a 10 on the psychotic scale. However, it was no comparison to the severe presentations that were rated a 10. This inevitably results in the patient rating the air vent demons a 3 or a 4. It wouldn't be surprising if the psychotic patient didn't think it was an event worth mentioning. It gets graded on a curve.
This creates a problem. Professionals and loved ones may, perhaps understandably, think that the patient's health is improving or was never bad to begin with. In reality, the perpetually suffering patient is simply grateful that they aren't presenting with level 10 episodes. There is but one solution.
We as psychotic people need to verbalize our very torturous symptoms even though we were happy to not have a month-long episode. Every crazy symptom counts. It needs to be known to all those who effect our lives. Particularly to those who provide much needed assistance to our disabled existen

It's easy to not feel like an imposter when you're being bombarded with voices throughout all hours of the day. When you're seeing people in your living space that aren't really there. When you're covering your windows out of fear that those in your neighborhood are spying on you. What about when those symptoms aren't actively present?

Does this mean that you're asymptomatic? Almost certainly not. Setting aside the fact that there will be a lingering fear that the positive symptoms will resurge, there are also crippling negative symptoms that can plague your life at every turn.

The problem many psychotic people run into with regard to negative symptoms is that they mimic what normal people might describe as being lazy. Lapses in hygiene. Unkept living quarters. Inability to complete what should be simple tasks. The list goes on.

The people in a schizophrenic's life often fail to understand that, despite the fact that voices weren't telling you not to shower, those are schizophrenic symptoms too.

It's certainly something that should be aimed to be improved upon. It's definitely not something to feel guilty about. It's a medical condition that should be treated. Loved ones should see it that way.

Visuals are regarded as both the rarest and the most severe type of hallucination by the psychiatric community. If you get visuals but think of yourself as rather high functioning, that’s probably because visual hallucinations are far from being equal to one another. If this surprises you, it’s probably because you’ve never been scrutinized about your visual hallucinations on the same level as you have been about the other types.

Take the most common hallucination of a schizophrenic. Auditory hallucinations. You may get asked if the voices are clear or if they’re chatter. Are they quiet or loud? Are they close or far away? Is it one voice or many? Are they male or female? Do they make statements or give commands? You get me.

Vision, being the sense human beings primarily experience reality with, make hallucinations of such come in forms that one could ask far more questions about. I won’t put you to sleep with an exhaustive list. I’ll just hit on some important points in this post.

You’ll commonly hear people say they see shadow figures. They’re the most common and least severe. On the same level are distorted images of objects that are actually there. Seeing a spider on your skin that turns out to be a mole will doubtfully make it into your psychiatrist’s notes. Seeing bugs crawling all over your arm that you’re scratching away at could land you in the looney bin. Both were visuals of bugs. One was a distortion(not so severe) and one was a manifestation from nowhere(very severe).

The holy grail of visual hallucinations is the vivid image of a person that does not instantly go away. It sticks around. If you’ve unlocked this psychotic achievement, congratulations. You’re likely in for a few awards. Sorry, I mean a few wards. Other symptoms will likely be present when you've reached this level. Word salad. Bat shit crazy ideas. You’ve won the luxury of living in whatever world your brain decides to put you in at this point. That “A Beautiful Mind” reality where everything is normal apart from seeing three real-as-day people yet having no other symptoms just doesn’t happen.

Hardcore visuals send you into lala land

The statistics surrounding the widespread use of tobacco products are constantly fluctuating. The peer reviewed research reports that 80% of those with schizophrenia enjoy nicotine in one form or another. A number far higher than the average population. There must be a reason, right? The conclusions of said studies might surprise you.

The surprise comes from the fact that there are two conflicting reasons given. One, nicotine was shown in some studies to provide relief for the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. Two, nicotine was shown in other studies to lower the blood levels of many APs taken by patients who smoke regularly. This raises an obvious question.

Antipsychotics, the medications supposedly demonstrated to lessen the negative symptoms of schizophrenia, should be providing reduced symptom relief given that the aforementioned studies say that nicotine is lowering AP blood levels. A schizo patient should therefore quit smoking, correct?

Lets not forget the conclusions of the first study mentioned. APs lessen the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. For the uninformed, negative symptoms are all but indistinguishable from the side effects of antipsychotics. Let's simplify this.

Antipsychotics are said to both weaken the effects of medications that help with negative symptoms as well as provide relief for negative symptoms. If that isn't adding up in your head, that's because it doesn't add up. I have a layman's explanation that at least won't contradict.

Schizophrenia causes more stress than anything the normal brain can imagine. Newsflash, Smoking is one hell of a stress reliever.

I mean directly- not due to a delusion or command hallucination. Those are obviously psychotic reasons to cut, but I think the mindset itself can just be psychotic and lead directly to cutting, and this is based on personal experience and knowledge of a similar case in someone else.

How? [TW]

In a certain arguably-psychotic flavor of mindset, there becomes a morbidly fascinating quality to my own mortality. It's a deep sense of enamor, a pull to the dark side of the world and my role within it. I want to feel the mortality by cutting, to have the beast bite into me and show me what it's really got. And that in turn makes me feel alive, and that my life is in my own hands. In those moments, and for as long as the pain lasts, I feel have absorbed the power of mortality itself.

Would you not call this manner of thinking psychotic?

I can think of two glaring examples from my treatment that prove the subject of this threat true.

One, a psychiatrist once took me off of 4 of my 5 anti-psychotics. Upon being asked if this course of action would improve my symptoms, he softly said, "let's hope". Like a compliant patient I did as I was told and saw no reduction in symptoms.

Then there was the time I needed to be put on a stimulant to counteract the effects of all of the sedatives that I was taking. He went forward with prescribing the stimulant. What he didn't tell me was that he removed two sedatives from my medication supply. I didn't die, but I found it very hard to focus while I had to overwhelming urge to run laps.

Get second and third opinions. Psychiatrists are there to improve your quality of life. Don't allow him to ruin it.